Well the car is on it's 2nd fix since the accident, the new radiator last week, and now a new air conditioning compressor. Like I need A/C in Canada, but the wife feels it's needed as she doesn't like to sweat. Just over $1,200 so far in total repairs and I haven't even taken it to a body shop to get the new bumper and passenger door fixed. The guy I ran into, with the car, has yet to call me with an estimate of his cost of a new rear bumper and I am sure we won't be getting our insurance companies involved as it is past the time to have contacted them. My friends suggest I don't call him and cross my fingers that he won't be calling me, either due to pure laziness or the fact he may have lost the paper with my information on it. Doing it without insurance will in the long run cost me less as it would increase my monthy payments far more than the damage costs itself.
The retreat I went on a few weeks back has been more than helpful in so many ways when thinking about life, problems, good times and daily routines. I have no control over some things and will just have to get used to the fact that I can be an emotional person... I found out my youngest son, with Russell-Silver Syndrome will need another operation. Not on his left eye but on another part of his body, of course on the left side, as it is smaller than the entire right side of his body since birth and as a part of his diagnosis. The Dr. assures me it is a routine operation and that it is regular for some boys his age and has nothing to do with the diagnosis. He, my 4 yr old son David, loves to talk and tell lots of jokes, just like his father, and I look forward to him being a ladies man in his teen years. The wife and I have done almost everything we can and taken advantage of most resources available to ensure he is almost at the same intellectual level of boys his age, and most of my fears since his birth about his adulthood life are slowly going away.
I am enjoying my break off from the things in life that can consume my inability to seperate my emotions from things I can't control and am feeling more healthy than I have since the age of 18. The Doctors and specialists have done a wonderful job with me and getting my internal functions back to almost normal. I am also happy to say I will not be needing the operation on my small intestine any more and there was no trace of cancer cells in my body. Even my liver and kidneys are almost back to normal. I am almost, I repeat almost looking forward to returning to work and helping other people and there children have the best possible chance at a productive life. The birth of my youngest son was a big awakening and I can have a greater level of empathy towards other parents and fathers who take on guilt when they have a child with a disability. It was real easy to tell people what they need to do, but extremely difficult to listen to those words myself.
OKAY enough of all that and a little about poker, I have been slowly getting back into playing and increasing the amount of games I play per day. Getting away from free rolls and starting to play buy-ins larger than the $1 level.
I have improved most of my online bankrolls slightly and will post some "updates" once I get more than 50 games played. I also came in 5th in a PokerVT event on Pokerstars and will receive an 8% of 2,000 bonus that was put up by our training site.
I have watched all the HU National Championships on utube as well as all the seasons and episodes of High Stakes Poker and am looking into purchasing a DVD on more poker shows, recently I bought a season of the WPT and Phil Gordon's Final Table which were both helpful in my pursuit to increase my game.
This week's new training videos were put out last night and after watching them I also plan on completing the re-watching of all the training videos on the PokerVT home page, I am about halfway through. I have 2 new poker books to read when I have completed "Fooled By Randomness" and some bonuses on FullTilt and Mansion Poker which I need to play out before they expire in the middle of May.
Nick Rainey has chosen 8 students that he will be closely helping to improve their poker game and I am not surprised by the students he picked. They are all great players and I wish them all the best in that pursuit.
The final table for the SnG challenenge will be played this Sunday and if my wife will let my "duck" out near the end of my son's birthday party I expect it to be a great game of solid players, I hope my cat has the potions ready to increase my luck factor as I would love to win and take it down, realizing that if I do it will be a tough battle as all members playing have earned their seats and it will most likey come down to a lot of luck and hopefully me stealing pots when it appears my opponents have marginal holdings.
Afterwards I plan on finding out if Nick is still able and wanting to play me in the HU match from the FNF's competition he was holding recently when I won two weeks in a row, luckily beating the other members who won in the tournaments they played.
I also am happy to say I made my 3rd appearance in a PVT video, for about 5 hands, in the Josh (thenorfman) video. I folded every one and had my blind stolen by spacegravey, the honour was all mine! So a video by Nick, one by Tan the Man and Josh... three seperate videos and nothing that really gave other members a chance to see how I play my game, so no worries just yet about having to adjust my style when playing vs PVT members.
I have also been continuing to aid a few friends with thier poker game with the little insight I can provide into becoming more aggressive. My theory is basically if you can't raise you should just fold! I do enjoy the game very much and find it relaxing in the sense that my focus is soley on the game, while playing, and not on the rest of life's issues.
I missed Sarah Conner Chronicles again this past week and saw a few shows I have been not keeping up with, Chuck and Reaper, both are "good" and nothing is as amazing as "Lost" which happens to be on tonight. Some movies picked out by my wife, and T.V. shows which she likes to enjoy, bonding, also was part of my viewing entertainment in the last week or so.
I have also joined 2 baseball teams for the summer and look forward to playing on a weekly basis, my body just recovering from this past weekends tournament. I am very happy to also be playing with my younger brother and getting a chance to "get to know him again" as adults. I have also decided to quite smoking, as I have done so with all the other bad habits I picked up in my teen years. It will be a slow process but feel that 8 weeks from now my lungs and breathing will finally have a chance to also return to that of an ex-smoker for 18 years and the Dr. says 10 years down the road I can maybe have a set of lungs almost equal to that of a person who never smoked.
Good luck to all that take the time to share in my life and my journey, the topic of my blog says it all... Now more excuses the time is now, and after slowly regaining my health I can begin to focus on the goals I have set for myself in poker... Soon I will have to revisit them and see if I need to put more effort into any given area to ensure the goals are met, though I am positive those of my bankroll, training and increasing my game are coming together and will only grow as I do so with a "clear mind, a focused mind" and a healthier body. :)
Cheers and Shambone! I have never felt so good about life in about as long as I can remember. Even If I was the kid who had to touch the burning stove 4 times to learn my lessons the "hard way".
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
A letter to some special people!
I hope everything for you is as great as it has been for me over the past few weeks.
I have been very busy with doing all the things I have missed out on for the past 15 years.
I didn't ever think when I started committing to a "new" lifestyle that I would be able to fill up all or most of my spare time as I have been doing.
With the kids activities, family dinners and physical exercise I am having almost no time to think about the "bad" things that I shouldn't be doing. I also realize that it all was just an excuse I was using to "hide" from my emotions.
I have contacted some old friends and went out with them a few times, trying to do it weekly, and keeping myself involved in the two baseball teams I have signed up for, one of the teams my brother is also on and gives us a chance to still compete with each other and have fun at the same time not worrying about any of life's issues whilst we play. Played in a tournament this weekend and had lots of fun, hitting the ball much better than last year and not falling down on my way around the bases. When I hung out with my friends, they didn't even try to "push" me into my old habits and respected the choices that I have made.
I wish you all the best and hope you are doing well.
My wife has also begun eating more healthy with me, cutting out fast food and has begun working out a few times a week. My body is really enjoying the "energy" and is always craving more "fun", even when I am tired and sore. It has been a roller coaster of highs and lows with wonderful and rough emotions, yet I also realize I might be overdoing for now, but I am not looking forward to returning to work, just yet, and am trying to do as much as I can.
I want to thank you all for being you, and having time to listen to my "rants' while I have revisited my goals in life and I appreciate what a huge learning experience it was for me. You were very helpful in pointing some things out to me, and I will try to take the time to listen to what others have to say first, and respond in kind, making my point and trying not to ramble on, though it is still a learning process.
The holistic approach my retreat provided, members in my group and staff were everything I needed to re-focus what is best for myself and my family.
I feel happy, optimistic, hopeful and grateful to all those that chose to share in being a part of my life.
Talk to you all soon.
I wish everyone and your family all the best in any of your future endeavors! Again Thank you,
David B
falenangel
I have interestingly enough also been helping out some friends improve there tournament game and with great happiness too, as it is wonderful that they feel my opinion on the game of poker is worth listening to in the journey of improving their game as well. Including my brother who has finally realized that he is very predictable with his style of play during home games with our friends and has shown interest in increasing his knowledge, even to as far as considering reading a poker book which I have been suggesting he try for over the last year.
A poker update with bankroll totals will be coming in a couple of days when the new weekly training videos come out at PokerVT.com.
Cheers! and Shambone!
I have been very busy with doing all the things I have missed out on for the past 15 years.
I didn't ever think when I started committing to a "new" lifestyle that I would be able to fill up all or most of my spare time as I have been doing.
With the kids activities, family dinners and physical exercise I am having almost no time to think about the "bad" things that I shouldn't be doing. I also realize that it all was just an excuse I was using to "hide" from my emotions.
I have contacted some old friends and went out with them a few times, trying to do it weekly, and keeping myself involved in the two baseball teams I have signed up for, one of the teams my brother is also on and gives us a chance to still compete with each other and have fun at the same time not worrying about any of life's issues whilst we play. Played in a tournament this weekend and had lots of fun, hitting the ball much better than last year and not falling down on my way around the bases. When I hung out with my friends, they didn't even try to "push" me into my old habits and respected the choices that I have made.
I wish you all the best and hope you are doing well.
My wife has also begun eating more healthy with me, cutting out fast food and has begun working out a few times a week. My body is really enjoying the "energy" and is always craving more "fun", even when I am tired and sore. It has been a roller coaster of highs and lows with wonderful and rough emotions, yet I also realize I might be overdoing for now, but I am not looking forward to returning to work, just yet, and am trying to do as much as I can.
I want to thank you all for being you, and having time to listen to my "rants' while I have revisited my goals in life and I appreciate what a huge learning experience it was for me. You were very helpful in pointing some things out to me, and I will try to take the time to listen to what others have to say first, and respond in kind, making my point and trying not to ramble on, though it is still a learning process.
The holistic approach my retreat provided, members in my group and staff were everything I needed to re-focus what is best for myself and my family.
I feel happy, optimistic, hopeful and grateful to all those that chose to share in being a part of my life.
Talk to you all soon.
I wish everyone and your family all the best in any of your future endeavors! Again Thank you,
David B
falenangel
I have interestingly enough also been helping out some friends improve there tournament game and with great happiness too, as it is wonderful that they feel my opinion on the game of poker is worth listening to in the journey of improving their game as well. Including my brother who has finally realized that he is very predictable with his style of play during home games with our friends and has shown interest in increasing his knowledge, even to as far as considering reading a poker book which I have been suggesting he try for over the last year.
A poker update with bankroll totals will be coming in a couple of days when the new weekly training videos come out at PokerVT.com.
Cheers! and Shambone!
Monday, April 20, 2009
I am sick! and it isn't awesome at all!
The last few days have been a bit of a blurr, I have been sick and not a good kind either. I think it's a combination severe cold and Flu, I won't go into details but if you can think of it I am experiencing it!
A few friends have been doing well playing poker and I have been actually helping some PVT members work on their tournament game, I didn't realize the insight I can share and how much it can help my learning process.
I am looking forward to more new training videos tomorrow, and wish the best for everybody.
The cat came back and insisted I "ditch" the white squirrel, yet the squirrel has a different meaning to me and my outlook on life, which he, the cat, simply can't appreciate. I put the squirrel on the "shelf" with a picture to look at each morning, and am putting my faith back in the cat.
Nick Rainey at PVT has completed the prop bet and should be returning to having more time for PVT members again. I am still waiting to play him HU for the FNF's from a few months ago.
I played a PVT member, Jotagran, in some HU matches and learned a lot from the experience. Jotagran defeated me 4 - 1 and did so with, ease. I can see where I played some hands wrong and look forward to improving my game for the future.
Just a short blog today as I don't have much energy and my thoughts are not complete and keep losing focus. I will return to playing poker on a larger scale once I start to feel better and can get a full night's sleep.
The PokerVT Bounty tournament was not a waste of my time as I was able to get 15th out of over 90 players and feel I am learning from all of my play. When I get knocked out I either know what I did wrong, or it was a "coin flip" that I didn't win, so having said that I know my game is improving. I also am gonna start to move away from free rolls and focus on cash games. Last night I played the Canada free roll on Full Tilt and got 53rd out of 2700, which in any cash tournament would have been a cash yet not a free roll that only pays the top 27. Though there is a certain comfortability I find in playing free rolls and I won't be able to quite "cold turkey".
Tomorrow training videos and lots T.V., forum reading and chatting with friends. The cat asked he if could go join Landman for an event this Tuesday which my in turn could help score a Final Table and even possibly a win! Good Luck with the cat at your side, yet your skill should get you ITM and TID, go with your "gut" and listen to it.
Bertha is almost completely fixed and is running as good as she ever was, thanks to help from a friend across the sea who's knowledge far surpasses that of mine in "putercore" expertise. Thanks man!
I am sick, I am sore, I am not feeling myself, next post will be once I have returned to better health and can focus on 1 thought for more than 5 minutes.
Cheers and best wishes to anybody who actually reads my blog, and all of the luck at the tables!
A few friends have been doing well playing poker and I have been actually helping some PVT members work on their tournament game, I didn't realize the insight I can share and how much it can help my learning process.
I am looking forward to more new training videos tomorrow, and wish the best for everybody.
The cat came back and insisted I "ditch" the white squirrel, yet the squirrel has a different meaning to me and my outlook on life, which he, the cat, simply can't appreciate. I put the squirrel on the "shelf" with a picture to look at each morning, and am putting my faith back in the cat.
Nick Rainey at PVT has completed the prop bet and should be returning to having more time for PVT members again. I am still waiting to play him HU for the FNF's from a few months ago.
I played a PVT member, Jotagran, in some HU matches and learned a lot from the experience. Jotagran defeated me 4 - 1 and did so with, ease. I can see where I played some hands wrong and look forward to improving my game for the future.
Just a short blog today as I don't have much energy and my thoughts are not complete and keep losing focus. I will return to playing poker on a larger scale once I start to feel better and can get a full night's sleep.
The PokerVT Bounty tournament was not a waste of my time as I was able to get 15th out of over 90 players and feel I am learning from all of my play. When I get knocked out I either know what I did wrong, or it was a "coin flip" that I didn't win, so having said that I know my game is improving. I also am gonna start to move away from free rolls and focus on cash games. Last night I played the Canada free roll on Full Tilt and got 53rd out of 2700, which in any cash tournament would have been a cash yet not a free roll that only pays the top 27. Though there is a certain comfortability I find in playing free rolls and I won't be able to quite "cold turkey".
Tomorrow training videos and lots T.V., forum reading and chatting with friends. The cat asked he if could go join Landman for an event this Tuesday which my in turn could help score a Final Table and even possibly a win! Good Luck with the cat at your side, yet your skill should get you ITM and TID, go with your "gut" and listen to it.
Bertha is almost completely fixed and is running as good as she ever was, thanks to help from a friend across the sea who's knowledge far surpasses that of mine in "putercore" expertise. Thanks man!
I am sick, I am sore, I am not feeling myself, next post will be once I have returned to better health and can focus on 1 thought for more than 5 minutes.
Cheers and best wishes to anybody who actually reads my blog, and all of the luck at the tables!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Lots of training and Nick Rainey is "godlike"
I have spent about a week catching up on all the training videos at Poker VT - Home , reading the forum at PokerVT Forum , posting insightful and hunourous comments to lots of stuff. Increasing my knowledge and reading my favorite blogs SNG Nick , not a problem . I am also very pleased to say the NICK RAINEY is almost at the end of his prop bet, both in time yet in completion as well, I have spent as much time as possible watching and cheering him on , without neglecting my family and my health of course visiting the batting cage every other day to get ready for the summer's season playing on 2-3 teams this year.
Nick is a true inspiration and has attracted over 100K in bets against him that I am happy to see him win, when he wins, I think he is due for a 24hr nap, when it's all done and he has been officially declared the winner of course. If anybody actually reads my daily updates and didn't get a chance to see the live web cams you may still have a chance if you check out Justin.tv - sng16k's channel: social work or stickam.com/16ksng , you can also read his updates that aren't on his blog at Nick Rainey (sngnick) on Twitter , it has been a long month for Nick and I am kinda glad I missed the first few weeks at my "retreat" as it can get stressful and tense when you really want a person to succeed and the bumps in the road along the way get you a little worried.
The cat was never worried at all and kept giving me looks from above Nick's monitors whenever I would say or type anything in the chat that sounded to be "not positive". On the note I probably have been very distracting with my chatting, but I am sure Nick has clicked "ignore" and muted me a loooong time ago and am not worried that I am bothering him. The cat too sent me and e-mail saying he misses me and as soon as the prop bet is over will be coming home right away, he is anxious to meet the white squirrel and have dinner with him... this makes me wonder if they will be friends or the natural animal instinct will kick in and provide him with a nice meal and a fluffly new "white" coat..? I also look forward to Nick returning to the land of "coaching" and back to his position of the leader of the Rainey Army/Nick Nation as his students and myself miss all of the attention he gives us in his daily forum posts, weekly videos and competitions as well as his skilled ability to teach us all more. Lest we not forget Nick will be playing for me at the final table as I might of still been away on my "retreat" and will ensure my winning the SNG challenge and leading all other PVT members won't be for not as he will take down a nice place for all my efforts. On top of that I am still gonna finally get my chance to play Nick heads up for the FNF week 3 from a while back for a cool $200.
On another note I have been asked many times by many PVT members to play HU as they want a chance to play falenangel "the guy who beat Nick" and see how there skill matches up, I have played a few and luckily won them keeping my status as a solid HU player. Recently a challenge was thrown my way by a member I consider to have a lot of skill in playing poker and wasn't sure if I could pull of a win vs jotagran as we are probably evenly matched and variance, luck of the cards, may play more of a role than skill.
After much persistence on the part of jotagran and lots of discussion around odds and the amount to play for and how many games should be played we have come to a decision. We will play sometime in the next few days with my $40 vs jota's $50 for a best of 7 heads up match on Fulltilt. I am verymuch looking forward to it as I think we have agreed to make it a monthly event for a little while giving us both a chance to improve our game and play somebody who has shown great skill as a member of the PokerVT community. My cat also sent me an e-mail saying ""if the prop bet for Nick isn't over yet, he will take the "spirit flight" here as soon as I am needed for the game and return to Nick afterwards if the prop bet is still on."" I am pleased to hear that as without my coin flipping bonus of +3.3% I don't see how I can continue to "big talk" my beating jotagran in advance.
The white squirrel is great and all but the cat is connected to insight from the great and late Stu U, the greatest poker player (in my mind) that ever played the game.
My poker bankrolls are still the same as the last update give or take a few bucks but will return to playing cash games this week, as soon as I get "bertha" a few days of "antibiotics" My computer has shut itself down 2 times in the last 3 days even after I had a IT guy look it over. :(
I also got caught up on most of my T.V. shows and am happy to see that Lost is still the best show on the air and look forward to it everyweek, it also happens to be on tonight.
Sarah Conner chronicles has also begun to blow my mind with last few weeks going beyound anything I could have foreseen as a viewer.
We won't talk about hereos as it almost is a a point where I watch it just to see if they can catch my interest again, wishing they wouldn't have had the writers strike "mess it up" back in the 2nd season, though it may simply be the writers trying to live up to the competition in Lost.
Lots of movies watched too many to review, nothing too horrible to mention and nothing too great either, movies of extreme calibur only tend to come along every "blue moon" anyway.
My latest read is currently "Fooled by Randomness" by Nassim Nicholas Taleb and I will tell you simply this, if you haven't read it go buy it now and you will thank me for telling you when you are at the end of chapter one, I have yet to finish this book but will be re-reading as soon as I have, in spare time and before bed each night, as it is soo insightful it even helped me to understand things I was neglecting and helped to make me realize a few things about myself.
Best of Luck to all and Thank You for helping my poker insight grow soo much since joining PVT to all the staff and pros, especially Nick in his challenge, Jcarver (though he doesn't know I look up to him-his ego is probably big enough as it is) and Grayson a new coach to the team who's training videos are enough to make me need to watch them at least 3-5 times over get all the knowledge.
Also best of luck to Jotagran in our little HU matches as it will be the begining of us both increasing our skill no mattter who wins, even though the cat assures me it's "in the bag".
Thank you to all who have been following my blog since I started out, it is a journey that has been enlightening if nothing else. Like anybody reads my crap! I simply like to believe that maybe just maybe... ah nah.
Yes I will, maybe, be adding Grayson- aka spacegravey, to my blog on the right side as a blog to follow if he continues to provide great insight and in turn becoming a person I greatly look up too and aspire being as good as him. We'll talk about other pros in the future but Jon Ettinger has also grabbed my attention even if he hands the charts to us on a "silver platter" the insight is great and his ability to articulate has been shocking in the least.
Thank you to the "brains" at PokerVT for ensuring the members keep getting great new content, and to all the staff you correctly put together, the team is amazing and I can't imagine my life right now without it all... most likely still only playing at tigergamming, and not involved with PVT. Yet without the "tiger, my cat" I wouldn't have ever found you and seen my true potential.
Time for everybody reading to give yourself a great big and long pat on the back! Cheers and Shambone!
Nick is a true inspiration and has attracted over 100K in bets against him that I am happy to see him win, when he wins, I think he is due for a 24hr nap, when it's all done and he has been officially declared the winner of course. If anybody actually reads my daily updates and didn't get a chance to see the live web cams you may still have a chance if you check out Justin.tv - sng16k's channel: social work or stickam.com/16ksng , you can also read his updates that aren't on his blog at Nick Rainey (sngnick) on Twitter , it has been a long month for Nick and I am kinda glad I missed the first few weeks at my "retreat" as it can get stressful and tense when you really want a person to succeed and the bumps in the road along the way get you a little worried.
The cat was never worried at all and kept giving me looks from above Nick's monitors whenever I would say or type anything in the chat that sounded to be "not positive". On the note I probably have been very distracting with my chatting, but I am sure Nick has clicked "ignore" and muted me a loooong time ago and am not worried that I am bothering him. The cat too sent me and e-mail saying he misses me and as soon as the prop bet is over will be coming home right away, he is anxious to meet the white squirrel and have dinner with him... this makes me wonder if they will be friends or the natural animal instinct will kick in and provide him with a nice meal and a fluffly new "white" coat..? I also look forward to Nick returning to the land of "coaching" and back to his position of the leader of the Rainey Army/Nick Nation as his students and myself miss all of the attention he gives us in his daily forum posts, weekly videos and competitions as well as his skilled ability to teach us all more. Lest we not forget Nick will be playing for me at the final table as I might of still been away on my "retreat" and will ensure my winning the SNG challenge and leading all other PVT members won't be for not as he will take down a nice place for all my efforts. On top of that I am still gonna finally get my chance to play Nick heads up for the FNF week 3 from a while back for a cool $200.
On another note I have been asked many times by many PVT members to play HU as they want a chance to play falenangel "the guy who beat Nick" and see how there skill matches up, I have played a few and luckily won them keeping my status as a solid HU player. Recently a challenge was thrown my way by a member I consider to have a lot of skill in playing poker and wasn't sure if I could pull of a win vs jotagran as we are probably evenly matched and variance, luck of the cards, may play more of a role than skill.
After much persistence on the part of jotagran and lots of discussion around odds and the amount to play for and how many games should be played we have come to a decision. We will play sometime in the next few days with my $40 vs jota's $50 for a best of 7 heads up match on Fulltilt. I am verymuch looking forward to it as I think we have agreed to make it a monthly event for a little while giving us both a chance to improve our game and play somebody who has shown great skill as a member of the PokerVT community. My cat also sent me an e-mail saying ""if the prop bet for Nick isn't over yet, he will take the "spirit flight" here as soon as I am needed for the game and return to Nick afterwards if the prop bet is still on."" I am pleased to hear that as without my coin flipping bonus of +3.3% I don't see how I can continue to "big talk" my beating jotagran in advance.
The white squirrel is great and all but the cat is connected to insight from the great and late Stu U, the greatest poker player (in my mind) that ever played the game.
My poker bankrolls are still the same as the last update give or take a few bucks but will return to playing cash games this week, as soon as I get "bertha" a few days of "antibiotics" My computer has shut itself down 2 times in the last 3 days even after I had a IT guy look it over. :(
I also got caught up on most of my T.V. shows and am happy to see that Lost is still the best show on the air and look forward to it everyweek, it also happens to be on tonight.
Sarah Conner chronicles has also begun to blow my mind with last few weeks going beyound anything I could have foreseen as a viewer.
We won't talk about hereos as it almost is a a point where I watch it just to see if they can catch my interest again, wishing they wouldn't have had the writers strike "mess it up" back in the 2nd season, though it may simply be the writers trying to live up to the competition in Lost.
Lots of movies watched too many to review, nothing too horrible to mention and nothing too great either, movies of extreme calibur only tend to come along every "blue moon" anyway.
My latest read is currently "Fooled by Randomness" by Nassim Nicholas Taleb and I will tell you simply this, if you haven't read it go buy it now and you will thank me for telling you when you are at the end of chapter one, I have yet to finish this book but will be re-reading as soon as I have, in spare time and before bed each night, as it is soo insightful it even helped me to understand things I was neglecting and helped to make me realize a few things about myself.
Best of Luck to all and Thank You for helping my poker insight grow soo much since joining PVT to all the staff and pros, especially Nick in his challenge, Jcarver (though he doesn't know I look up to him-his ego is probably big enough as it is) and Grayson a new coach to the team who's training videos are enough to make me need to watch them at least 3-5 times over get all the knowledge.
Also best of luck to Jotagran in our little HU matches as it will be the begining of us both increasing our skill no mattter who wins, even though the cat assures me it's "in the bag".
Thank you to all who have been following my blog since I started out, it is a journey that has been enlightening if nothing else. Like anybody reads my crap! I simply like to believe that maybe just maybe... ah nah.
Yes I will, maybe, be adding Grayson- aka spacegravey, to my blog on the right side as a blog to follow if he continues to provide great insight and in turn becoming a person I greatly look up too and aspire being as good as him. We'll talk about other pros in the future but Jon Ettinger has also grabbed my attention even if he hands the charts to us on a "silver platter" the insight is great and his ability to articulate has been shocking in the least.
Thank you to the "brains" at PokerVT for ensuring the members keep getting great new content, and to all the staff you correctly put together, the team is amazing and I can't imagine my life right now without it all... most likely still only playing at tigergamming, and not involved with PVT. Yet without the "tiger, my cat" I wouldn't have ever found you and seen my true potential.
Time for everybody reading to give yourself a great big and long pat on the back! Cheers and Shambone!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
What will I do if I am not picked for the "opportunity of a lifetime"
What will I do if I am not picked for the "opportunity of a lifetime":
I am happy with life in every way... We all experience life in different ways and all have a story to tell, this by no means anything but what it says.
My childhood was a mixture of abuse, extreme religion and complications sending me to adulthood by the age of 14 without the understanding of what the heck was going on, I had to figure it out for myself with a few "kind" individuals which made an affect on who I am now.
I dropped out of high school 8 times over and lived life to it's fullest, partying to the extreme until the age of 20.
When my 1st son was born I went to college as a "mature student" and now have 4 completed courses amongst them 3 diplomas working with people and helping out the community. E.C.E. with honors, C.W.O.D. and S.S.W.. I help others get through life and difficult times currently working with children with Special Needs between the ages of 2-6 years and the daycare, and at home with the parents.
I love life and people, almost too much putting my life at risk as a youth at least 4 different major times and countless minor times, I am lucky to still be alive... honestly.
I get "addicted" to what I like and do it to the best that I can consuming myself with ways to "do it better", in turn I can tend to forget about myself.
Poker is about myself, I feel relaxed when playing and have only done so for a few years. This site has begun a new chapter in my perception of what I am capable of, with luck still having a factor that is out of my control. In turn it has provided me with life lessons and insight I hadn't thought of before.
I took a retreat recently that aided in listening to others, focusing on myself and practicing what I preach to others on a daily basis.
I could probably write a book, with run on sentences and no paragraphs, that would become a best seller based on my life until now. If I lived it 100 times over I could never expect to be in this spot today at this time doing things I love soooo much.
It's not what would I do if Nick doesn't pick me to advance my poker goals faster, it would be how long it may take me while building my bankroll on my own.
I plan on doing what I have done, and seeing my true potential to the fullest in anything I attempt, I have only attempted poker for 3 1/2 years and in my "spare" time have earned close to 30K- not bad for a hobby.
Kids, family, sports, job, me time and then poker.
This post has created a lot of great discussion and gives people a chance to think and re-think totally what Nick has done for us since day one. I don't want anything on a silver platter and feel more satisfied when i achieve it. Now as far as the "opportunity" goes, it may be a short cut but it will be earned, and as we all move upwards we can thank everybody in our lives for being a part of each of our individual journeys', I thank Nick and all the pros for taking the time to "open my eyes and mind" in newer ways and in turn I will be a better person and able to do a better job helping others.
In fact I was on this journey before the "opportunity" ever came up and had it all planned out in a 3-5 year plan. My blog was solely created as a way for me to track this process. I never wish for a job that I can do have "assssed" and slug through life, I want power over all my decisions and choices and the ability to recognize that which I have no power over.
I will stop there because the short answer is simply I will do what I have always done and do it the best I can. I hope only the best for everyone and say Cheers to those that try.
Earning self respect for myself in every endeavor, I have no quarrels with telling people anything about me or my aspirations as the only true opinion of me that matters is mine own.
When I die I want to look back on my life and be satisfied with all my efforts without any regrets. I know everyone posting means the best and haven't seen any malicious intent, in my eyes, just open minded discussions about poker as a career which many many many of us think about.
Wow do I feel great about this post and my life and am not worried at all about my car anymore,( The trip back from my mother in laws' was an adventure beyond most regular drives. The kids not in the car stayed with nana and papa and the air bags didn't go off. Yes I had a car accident, nobody was hurt and the damage minimal, though my nerves are shot. I am simply thankful all parties are okay. WOW am I still shaking just a little. Nothing the cat could of help prevent, just a part of life that nobody enjoys...No kids in the car, no air bags went off, nobody got hurt, no police needed, hopefully no insurance (depends on the other guy I hit), fenders need replacing and a new radiator causing steam to flow from both the car and my ears along with a bruised ego for not paying proper attention. All in all it was the best kind of crash a person can have where I did drive home and didn't have to wait for a tow truck. I guess that is why they call them accidents)
I love this post and encourage all who read it and has an opinion to write it down as it can only do more to aid in how we all look at this magnificent and relaxing "game", the more you put into it the more you will get back in both the game and in life. I am happy to be apart of the experience and look forward more... with superstitions, luck, random occurrences, emotions, noise and learning everyday something new. Let alone dreaming of something we don't have.... yet.
I have so much more to say but don't want to get "off" topic too much, this blog is supposed to only be poker related and a little about my journey.
We all are "the man"! We all Rule! Long live Jcarver's Angels as well as the Nick Nation/Rainey Army! Daniel Thank You! and Bless Brad "the man with a plan"! The white squirrel and the cat and all those that in their own way guide us towards tomorrow! Time to get back to it, the grind of life awaits me!
I am happy with life in every way... We all experience life in different ways and all have a story to tell, this by no means anything but what it says.
My childhood was a mixture of abuse, extreme religion and complications sending me to adulthood by the age of 14 without the understanding of what the heck was going on, I had to figure it out for myself with a few "kind" individuals which made an affect on who I am now.
I dropped out of high school 8 times over and lived life to it's fullest, partying to the extreme until the age of 20.
When my 1st son was born I went to college as a "mature student" and now have 4 completed courses amongst them 3 diplomas working with people and helping out the community. E.C.E. with honors, C.W.O.D. and S.S.W.. I help others get through life and difficult times currently working with children with Special Needs between the ages of 2-6 years and the daycare, and at home with the parents.
I love life and people, almost too much putting my life at risk as a youth at least 4 different major times and countless minor times, I am lucky to still be alive... honestly.
I get "addicted" to what I like and do it to the best that I can consuming myself with ways to "do it better", in turn I can tend to forget about myself.
Poker is about myself, I feel relaxed when playing and have only done so for a few years. This site has begun a new chapter in my perception of what I am capable of, with luck still having a factor that is out of my control. In turn it has provided me with life lessons and insight I hadn't thought of before.
I took a retreat recently that aided in listening to others, focusing on myself and practicing what I preach to others on a daily basis.
I could probably write a book, with run on sentences and no paragraphs, that would become a best seller based on my life until now. If I lived it 100 times over I could never expect to be in this spot today at this time doing things I love soooo much.
It's not what would I do if Nick doesn't pick me to advance my poker goals faster, it would be how long it may take me while building my bankroll on my own.
I plan on doing what I have done, and seeing my true potential to the fullest in anything I attempt, I have only attempted poker for 3 1/2 years and in my "spare" time have earned close to 30K- not bad for a hobby.
Kids, family, sports, job, me time and then poker.
This post has created a lot of great discussion and gives people a chance to think and re-think totally what Nick has done for us since day one. I don't want anything on a silver platter and feel more satisfied when i achieve it. Now as far as the "opportunity" goes, it may be a short cut but it will be earned, and as we all move upwards we can thank everybody in our lives for being a part of each of our individual journeys', I thank Nick and all the pros for taking the time to "open my eyes and mind" in newer ways and in turn I will be a better person and able to do a better job helping others.
In fact I was on this journey before the "opportunity" ever came up and had it all planned out in a 3-5 year plan. My blog was solely created as a way for me to track this process. I never wish for a job that I can do have "assssed" and slug through life, I want power over all my decisions and choices and the ability to recognize that which I have no power over.
I will stop there because the short answer is simply I will do what I have always done and do it the best I can. I hope only the best for everyone and say Cheers to those that try.
Earning self respect for myself in every endeavor, I have no quarrels with telling people anything about me or my aspirations as the only true opinion of me that matters is mine own.
When I die I want to look back on my life and be satisfied with all my efforts without any regrets. I know everyone posting means the best and haven't seen any malicious intent, in my eyes, just open minded discussions about poker as a career which many many many of us think about.
Wow do I feel great about this post and my life and am not worried at all about my car anymore,( The trip back from my mother in laws' was an adventure beyond most regular drives. The kids not in the car stayed with nana and papa and the air bags didn't go off. Yes I had a car accident, nobody was hurt and the damage minimal, though my nerves are shot. I am simply thankful all parties are okay. WOW am I still shaking just a little. Nothing the cat could of help prevent, just a part of life that nobody enjoys...No kids in the car, no air bags went off, nobody got hurt, no police needed, hopefully no insurance (depends on the other guy I hit), fenders need replacing and a new radiator causing steam to flow from both the car and my ears along with a bruised ego for not paying proper attention. All in all it was the best kind of crash a person can have where I did drive home and didn't have to wait for a tow truck. I guess that is why they call them accidents)
I love this post and encourage all who read it and has an opinion to write it down as it can only do more to aid in how we all look at this magnificent and relaxing "game", the more you put into it the more you will get back in both the game and in life. I am happy to be apart of the experience and look forward more... with superstitions, luck, random occurrences, emotions, noise and learning everyday something new. Let alone dreaming of something we don't have.... yet.
I have so much more to say but don't want to get "off" topic too much, this blog is supposed to only be poker related and a little about my journey.
We all are "the man"! We all Rule! Long live Jcarver's Angels as well as the Nick Nation/Rainey Army! Daniel Thank You! and Bless Brad "the man with a plan"! The white squirrel and the cat and all those that in their own way guide us towards tomorrow! Time to get back to it, the grind of life awaits me!
Saturday, April 11, 2009
I am baaaack! With a new outlook on life.
I am both extremely excited and optimistic about the future for myself and people around me. The course was quite emotionally intense and helped me to move on "in my minds eye" to a productive and healthy future. My coach Nick whom I await playing HU for the FNF's wk 3 is currently involved in a prop bet which has secured him a new world record with guiness and a lot of publicity, 16ksng - Stickam, Live Streaming Video, Watch & Broadcast Interactive Shows, Webcam Chatrooms , Justin.tv - sng16k's channel: social work , check it out if you wanna catch it in the final week. If you have Direct TV I hear they have a nice bit on him as well, on top of the many cardplaying sites which have shown interest in his endeavour. I am technically not supposed to be back until the 18th of April but felt the need to post and play a bit on the side until I go back to "full force" training for a month or so.
The course helped me open my mind to nurturing "me" and listening to what I "preach" to others about working through difficult times. It turns out I was carrying around a lot of "baggage" about past events in my life. With lots of talk, insight about dealing with the feeling accompanied with the thoughts I don't know how I was doing as well as I was. I simply needed to recognize that it is okay to not be perfect, and having emotions on such a large scale is due to the build up of not "feeling" the emotions for many years, or thinking that it was wrong to express the emotions in a healthy way. Also beating up on myself, theoretically, for the way I dealt with or experienced past events. Anger, stress, nutrition, sleep, exercise, forgiveness and acceptance were all major parts of the experience. Seeing now how it affected me I can take ownership of them all and have control over my future, abiding random occurences. I also thought I would have read a few books in this period, but ended up not having enough time. Though the book "Fooled by Randomnesss" by Nassim Nicholas Taleb is proving to a insightful read, and too has kinda opened my eyes about many parts of the human life. I am looking forward to finishing the book so I can start reading it over again a 2nd time right away as it at times causes me to reflect on my own life's stories both past, present and future this I credit to the above mentioned Nick, the "master" reffered to in past past posts, and current SNG King of the World. I am happy to say I forgive myself for many things and lifting that off of my back has given me extreme amounts of joy and confidence I haven't had since I was a 15 year old "now it all" young man. I can forgive others I have held resentment towards in the past and look forward to contacting some old friends and re-connecting with them, wether positively or negatively I can accept what comes with an open mind. I can recognize what I can and can't control in life and not let those things that are out of my control take ownership of my thoughts, renting space in my brain is no longer allowed. I also look forward to how this will affect my poker game as I feel it will deffinitely improve my ability to not tilt, as well as create extra insight on fixing the leaks in my style of play. I will become more assertive in my people skills and the ability to realize when a battle is not worth enganing in. Life is great and I am happy to be able to start over, again taking some from the book "Fooled" I also realize that if I lived my life over 100 times or even 1000 times there is no chance I would be exposed to half of the things this current life has and would for sure have been extremely successful in whatever I choose to do. Yet this life has prepared me for today and tomorrow and the way I percieve myself and others. I LOVE IT! I am happy, excited, confident, optimistic and lucky to have managed to get this far and still be alive. (The car accident when I was 18 going over a 40 foot cliff and surviving a roof caveing in on me because I was NOT wearing a seat belt is just one of the 10 or so examples I can think of where my life would or could have taken and extreme turn for me, avoiding jail as a youth was yet another). I was always very devoted to anything I tried to do in life wanting to be the best, dwelling on the times I woulda, coulda, shoulda. Not anymore, this is the time for me to again listen to the advice I put right in front of my eyes but never truely listened to, again I point out the title of my blog "No more excuses, the time is now!" Also to have it pointed out to me by many people that I do underestimate my abilities and try to mask my fears with a sense of "knowing it all already", boy was I wrong about that. I forgive myself, I forgive others and I am happy to be imperfect David! Enough "preaching" from me about this, though I am sure anybody who knows me will agree that if I wrote a book about my life it could easily become a best seller without even having come to these new realizations of late. You also may notice a change in my writing as I will try to recognize I love to talk and used to barely listen. I will try to take my foot out of my mouth before putting it back in! I wrote an emotional speach given at the "graduation" ceremony that my late father and family would have been proud of, and saying aloud in front of a group of "strangers" was helpful in ways I hadn't believed possible. I am sure this journey has also aided me in ways I have yet to rexognise.
On a poker note, I did win the HU matches in wk 3 of FNF's and will be playing my "coach/master" of the Nick Nation, or Rainey Army again and this time for a bonus of $200, becoming the first PVT member to do so 2 times when I do win! Currently he is busy with a prop bet involving him playing 16,000 SnG's in a month and clearing a profit of 10,000. He has already broken the world record for SnG's played and is very close to making the 10K mark. It is very inspirational to see him attack such a grand feat and I enjoy all the "fame" he is gathering during this quest. Variance is doing it's best to stop him but my cat felt he didn't need to attend the retreat and has been "with Nick" this entire time, sending me post cards of his progress. (He says that the master need only control his "tilt" factor and keep persistently playing when feeling strong, taking breaks when needed is also a small downfall, but he is working hard to appease the gods of the turn and river) The coin flipping bonus of +3.3% that comes with the cat doesn't hurt either, as was shown to me a few times by the great one in the past few days. I hope the cat comes back the very next day, I fear he may enjoy Nick's company a little more, yet I know he misses my kids and will probably return as soon as the weather warms up. We did have snow just a few days ago, Canada Rules! I am gonna try hitting the freerolls again and see if I can't win myself a seat into the WSOP, and slowly increase my ability to multi-table and eventually move up in buy-ins for tournaments. I jumped in a few $7 turbos and was able to eeek out a tiny profit. I also am happy to say I got a response from Fulltilt regarding rakeback of which I am elliglible to now receive through rakebackpros. This will be an extra for me as I only have learned of it in the pst few months yet have been a winning player consistantly for a few years. On top of the skill increase I get from training at Poker VT - Home PokerVT.com. Lots of training videos to catch up on, T.V. series to watch and many new movies gives me hardly anytime to sign up through late registration for a few "old man" softball leagues for the summer, In Canada this only last a very short time.
I am loving life and feel that I am on a "high" of sorts when I think about how much opportunity awaits me in all my endeavours and lifes journeys. A quick but not ingenuine apology to all those who I have wronged or upset or made feel bad in the past as I was doing it out of a sense of false entiltlemen and truely meant no harm to anybody, I AM SORRY! I forgive myself and hope that you can too. I don't think I have allowed myself to feel emotions in a "healthy way" for over 10 years and am giving myself a 2nd or 11th chance to do better today and not dwell on past. I want to thank everybody who has played a part in me becoming the person I am both from positive and negative life events. I wouldn't appreciate the good so much if the bad wasn't as bad as it was, THANK YOU! I have a list a mile long of things I need to do and don't want to make the post so long as to encourage speed reading and missing the point of this particular post. I do plan on providing regular updates and I do remember this blog was created soley to talk about poker yet I couldn't resist the chance to share with my many readers, all 2 of you, the cat included. Thank You, Thank YOU and THANK you, I have found "my white squirell" and will admire him everyday. Yes to my cat, when you return I have a new friend, a white squirell to keep you company on top of my computer screen.
I woke up this morning and my "miracle" has happened, I can only hope that it happens for all who are reading this too! I have a chance at being a better person and living a better life that I choose not to ignore anymore... Thank You.
The course helped me open my mind to nurturing "me" and listening to what I "preach" to others about working through difficult times. It turns out I was carrying around a lot of "baggage" about past events in my life. With lots of talk, insight about dealing with the feeling accompanied with the thoughts I don't know how I was doing as well as I was. I simply needed to recognize that it is okay to not be perfect, and having emotions on such a large scale is due to the build up of not "feeling" the emotions for many years, or thinking that it was wrong to express the emotions in a healthy way. Also beating up on myself, theoretically, for the way I dealt with or experienced past events. Anger, stress, nutrition, sleep, exercise, forgiveness and acceptance were all major parts of the experience. Seeing now how it affected me I can take ownership of them all and have control over my future, abiding random occurences. I also thought I would have read a few books in this period, but ended up not having enough time. Though the book "Fooled by Randomnesss" by Nassim Nicholas Taleb is proving to a insightful read, and too has kinda opened my eyes about many parts of the human life. I am looking forward to finishing the book so I can start reading it over again a 2nd time right away as it at times causes me to reflect on my own life's stories both past, present and future this I credit to the above mentioned Nick, the "master" reffered to in past past posts, and current SNG King of the World. I am happy to say I forgive myself for many things and lifting that off of my back has given me extreme amounts of joy and confidence I haven't had since I was a 15 year old "now it all" young man. I can forgive others I have held resentment towards in the past and look forward to contacting some old friends and re-connecting with them, wether positively or negatively I can accept what comes with an open mind. I can recognize what I can and can't control in life and not let those things that are out of my control take ownership of my thoughts, renting space in my brain is no longer allowed. I also look forward to how this will affect my poker game as I feel it will deffinitely improve my ability to not tilt, as well as create extra insight on fixing the leaks in my style of play. I will become more assertive in my people skills and the ability to realize when a battle is not worth enganing in. Life is great and I am happy to be able to start over, again taking some from the book "Fooled" I also realize that if I lived my life over 100 times or even 1000 times there is no chance I would be exposed to half of the things this current life has and would for sure have been extremely successful in whatever I choose to do. Yet this life has prepared me for today and tomorrow and the way I percieve myself and others. I LOVE IT! I am happy, excited, confident, optimistic and lucky to have managed to get this far and still be alive. (The car accident when I was 18 going over a 40 foot cliff and surviving a roof caveing in on me because I was NOT wearing a seat belt is just one of the 10 or so examples I can think of where my life would or could have taken and extreme turn for me, avoiding jail as a youth was yet another). I was always very devoted to anything I tried to do in life wanting to be the best, dwelling on the times I woulda, coulda, shoulda. Not anymore, this is the time for me to again listen to the advice I put right in front of my eyes but never truely listened to, again I point out the title of my blog "No more excuses, the time is now!" Also to have it pointed out to me by many people that I do underestimate my abilities and try to mask my fears with a sense of "knowing it all already", boy was I wrong about that. I forgive myself, I forgive others and I am happy to be imperfect David! Enough "preaching" from me about this, though I am sure anybody who knows me will agree that if I wrote a book about my life it could easily become a best seller without even having come to these new realizations of late. You also may notice a change in my writing as I will try to recognize I love to talk and used to barely listen. I will try to take my foot out of my mouth before putting it back in! I wrote an emotional speach given at the "graduation" ceremony that my late father and family would have been proud of, and saying aloud in front of a group of "strangers" was helpful in ways I hadn't believed possible. I am sure this journey has also aided me in ways I have yet to rexognise.
On a poker note, I did win the HU matches in wk 3 of FNF's and will be playing my "coach/master" of the Nick Nation, or Rainey Army again and this time for a bonus of $200, becoming the first PVT member to do so 2 times when I do win! Currently he is busy with a prop bet involving him playing 16,000 SnG's in a month and clearing a profit of 10,000. He has already broken the world record for SnG's played and is very close to making the 10K mark. It is very inspirational to see him attack such a grand feat and I enjoy all the "fame" he is gathering during this quest. Variance is doing it's best to stop him but my cat felt he didn't need to attend the retreat and has been "with Nick" this entire time, sending me post cards of his progress. (He says that the master need only control his "tilt" factor and keep persistently playing when feeling strong, taking breaks when needed is also a small downfall, but he is working hard to appease the gods of the turn and river) The coin flipping bonus of +3.3% that comes with the cat doesn't hurt either, as was shown to me a few times by the great one in the past few days. I hope the cat comes back the very next day, I fear he may enjoy Nick's company a little more, yet I know he misses my kids and will probably return as soon as the weather warms up. We did have snow just a few days ago, Canada Rules! I am gonna try hitting the freerolls again and see if I can't win myself a seat into the WSOP, and slowly increase my ability to multi-table and eventually move up in buy-ins for tournaments. I jumped in a few $7 turbos and was able to eeek out a tiny profit. I also am happy to say I got a response from Fulltilt regarding rakeback of which I am elliglible to now receive through rakebackpros. This will be an extra for me as I only have learned of it in the pst few months yet have been a winning player consistantly for a few years. On top of the skill increase I get from training at Poker VT - Home PokerVT.com. Lots of training videos to catch up on, T.V. series to watch and many new movies gives me hardly anytime to sign up through late registration for a few "old man" softball leagues for the summer, In Canada this only last a very short time.
I am loving life and feel that I am on a "high" of sorts when I think about how much opportunity awaits me in all my endeavours and lifes journeys. A quick but not ingenuine apology to all those who I have wronged or upset or made feel bad in the past as I was doing it out of a sense of false entiltlemen and truely meant no harm to anybody, I AM SORRY! I forgive myself and hope that you can too. I don't think I have allowed myself to feel emotions in a "healthy way" for over 10 years and am giving myself a 2nd or 11th chance to do better today and not dwell on past. I want to thank everybody who has played a part in me becoming the person I am both from positive and negative life events. I wouldn't appreciate the good so much if the bad wasn't as bad as it was, THANK YOU! I have a list a mile long of things I need to do and don't want to make the post so long as to encourage speed reading and missing the point of this particular post. I do plan on providing regular updates and I do remember this blog was created soley to talk about poker yet I couldn't resist the chance to share with my many readers, all 2 of you, the cat included. Thank You, Thank YOU and THANK you, I have found "my white squirell" and will admire him everyday. Yes to my cat, when you return I have a new friend, a white squirell to keep you company on top of my computer screen.
I woke up this morning and my "miracle" has happened, I can only hope that it happens for all who are reading this too! I have a chance at being a better person and living a better life that I choose not to ignore anymore... Thank You.
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